
Forget Kanye vs. 50, Raiders vs. Chargers, Kobe vs. Buss or Del Taco vs. Taco Bell...THIS is the ultimate showdown. Jay-Z vs. Frank Lucas (Denzel). We all know that Jay is dropping his new album named after the upcoming movie American Gangster with the movie coming out Nov. 2nd and the album dropping Nov. 6th. But who would really win the battle between Jay-Z and Denzel? Let's see....
Looks: The way to test this is if you are a girl and either Jay-Z or Denzel was NOT famous and hit on you at a bar/club who would you rather talk to? Yea I don't like dudes but I'm assuming the pick is Denzel. Ladies holla at me if you disagree. (Looks: advantage Denzel)
Style: Jay-Z is always looking prim and proper and brought this whole dressy-ghetto style to popularity. Denzel? I have no idea. But he doesn't own a clothing line. (Style: advantage Jay-Z)
Fighting Ability: Denzel has acted as a boxer, basketball player and inner-city cop. Jay-Z has acted as a president of a record label (OH DANG did I say that?!) Denzel might be older but he's like the old guys who sit on the porch all day sipping their moonshine...they look old but they will KICK YO ASS. (Fighting Ability: advantage Denzel)
Pizza Eating Contest: I know Jay has his hood roots but he seems a bit too proper now. Like he eats caviar and crap you can't pronounce now. Denzel he keeps it hood. Besides, in a pizza eating contest, Beyonce would butt in and try to join the contest....and win. Thus (Pizza Eating Contest: advantage Denzel via disqualification by Jay-Z via pizza all eaten by Beyonce)
Halo 3 Tournament: Both are fierce competitors but due to Denzel's age he probably doesn't even know the controls to the X-box 360. Jay-Z on the other hand probably enjoys some nice Wii Bowling every once in awhile sprinkled in with some Guitar Hero followed by a nice X-box live fest with Halo 3. Besides, he's with Beyonce...he plays video games to avoid her. (Halo 3 Tournament: advantage Jay-Z)
Results: So there you have it folks. After a tough round of competition it looks like we have a winner. Denzel wins by a score of 3-2. This means you must now watch American Gangster three times and buy the "American Gangster" album two times. Or for you UCI or UCLA students, this means download the movie three times and download the album twice. But don't do that. Illegal downloading is bad. Every time you illegally download, a baby kitten is infected with a flesh eating disease and will die. You don't want to kill baby kittens do you? Then don't illegally download.
Jay-Z vs. Denzel...who would you pick???